Reflections on Deflections and Projections
nothing but lies in fancy dress
Deflection and Projection are both pretty well-known psychology terms. They are especially useful tactics for jettisoning pesky facts or ignoring questions that we don't like. They're defense mechanisms, and both are used quite a bit when we're building up a narrative that suits our agenda but that doesn't completely correspond to the real world. In other words, they're both forms of lying. Sometimes only to ourselves, but often to others as well.
There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
~Proverbs 6:16-19
Whether we use lies to coerce others or to just fool ourselves, they are obviously not appropriate for a person of faith. It's not loving to lie to others and it's not loving to allow others to lie to us without challenge. So how do we spot when others are using deflection or projection against us? And even harder, what do we do about it?
"Deflection" is a technique that is designed to avoid responsibility. We've probably all seen young children deflect when they get caught doing something they shouldn't. Immediately they become very interested in flattering their parent ("You look so pretty today, Mommy!") or changing the subject to talk about something else that has suddenly become oh so fascinating ("Why is the sky blue, Daddy?"). Another way to deflect is simply to refuse to answer a question or to have a discussion at all. The famous "I don't know."
One of 47's most common deflection tactics is to say, "I don't know. So-and-so takes care of that" or "You'd have to ask my lawyers." Over and over. We've probably all now heard 47 refuse to answer this simple question: "Don't you have to uphold the Constitution?" Most blatantly, it happened point-blank recently in an interview with Kristen Welker. Frankly, it is not believable that 47 cannot answer that question, given that the Presidential oath of office goes something like this:
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
Ok, not something like that. Exactly that. It's not that he can't answer the question, it's that he won't. But he also won't admit it.
"Projection" attributes one's own thoughts, feelings, or actions to someone else. It can be similar to deflection, if the purpose of projecting is to draw attention away from oneself. But that's not always the purpose. Obviously, it's very uncomfortable for most of us to admit that we are bossy, greedy, racist, or have any other negative characteristic. These flaws exist deep within us, and they tend to color the way we view others and their motives. For example, if I'm a selfish person, I can easily come to see everyone else as operating from that motive too, and I will always be looking for evidence to back up my beliefs, misreading others' motives. Since another person's brain is a black box to me, I can attribute any motives to them that I want, no matter how pure their actual intent is. This is often an unconscious means of self defense, but it can get much more deliberate in the hands of a master manipulator.
What about the Flying Palace from Qatar?
Like deflection, projection is a well-worn tactic of the current regime. Accusing other people of doing what you do, or having the motives you have, is a way to avoid having an actual intellectual debate with them about actual issues. Throwing out juvenile nicknames degrades the opponent so that you don't have to engage with them: Lying Ted, Crooked Hillary, Sleepy Joe. The Washington Post's Philip Bump reported that 47's favorite twitter insults are fake, failed, dishonest, weak, and liar. Hmmm... Over and over again, he name-calls instead of addressing real issues.
Many things that 47 has accused others of, rightly or wrongly, he has then gone on to do himself. Remember his extreme criticism of Hillary Clinton over her use of an unsecured email server? She was very careless with classified materials, he ranted. He whipped his crowds into a frenzy of chanting "Lock her up!" (not solely over the emails, but including them). But then, of course, questions about his own mishandling of classified materials or the use of an unsecured text app by his administration are promptly labeled examples of a "witch hunt."
One of the most frightening aspects of deflection and projection in the mouth of 47 is that each time he creates an unnecessary crisis, he looks for a vulnerable population to scapegoat. This is what worries me the most: not his juvenile ranting or his refusal to accept responsibility for anything, but that he must find someone else to blame. He has too many supporters who do not recognize what he's doing and do not see the manipulation that is involved.
Deflection and Projection: We should be on the lookout for them from all of our leaders, including the ones we support. Let's also be careful not to fall into a pattern of using them ourselves. I know it's infuriating when 47 does it, but "he did it first" is not a Judeo-Christian ethic. Love, compassion, mercy, justice, and truth are Judeo-Christian ethics, and are also embraced by decent human beings of all faiths and non-faiths.
So how do we deal with it? Deflection and Projection can be relationship killers. If it's someone within your sphere of influence, and if you can manage it without escalating the issue, call them on it. First, remember about the principle of punching up vs punching down. We can be much more direct and firm when punching up, but we should still strive to be loving and compassionate in our confrontation no matter who it is (and be super careful if it's someone who could fire you!). Point out exactly what they are doing. Refuse to let them redirect the conversation. If it becomes fruitless and you are getting nowhere, pull the plug on the conversation altogether, and gently tell them why. That might make them decide that they “won” the conversation, but so what? Someone needs to be the adult in the room.
Yeah, I know: it's hard. That's why I said "if" in the previous paragraph. I hate confrontation and would rather just walk away. I can do that when it comes to 47, because...surprise!...he's not in my sphere of influence. I can just sit back and grumble about all of the lies he tells. For the people who are part of my life, though, if I truly care about them, it's worth the effort to at least try, because ultimately there's a lot at stake.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruits.
~ Proverbs 18:21